Thots on Humility

I spent the last year working for a governmental agency. It served it's purpose, and now I have to say I'm so relieved to not be working for them any more. What an eye opening experience!

I think every segment of our lives has a lesson in it somewhere, and this one certainly had quite a few good ones for me; the biggest one of all was the lesson in humility. Now I hope I can live out the message in real life.

I'm 50 something, and like most active 50-something people who have stepped out to make a life and a living, I have quite a bit of skills, training, wisdom, talent and whatever else to offer to people who want or need them. However, here's something that I've learned: Most people need, but don't want. Even those with greatest need will grow very resentful if what we have to offer is thrust upon them.

I think, when all the dross is sifted off, I was let go for this reason. I think I angered a person by offering unsolicited skills to them, thinking I could help them...and this deeply offended this person who started a lot of backbiting and gossip sessions, which exagerated the problem way out of proportion.

Jesus, I note, always asked permission before bestowing his offerings. He had the ultimate set of assets to offer; miracles that included healing! Think of it; if you're lame, He can make you walk; if you're demon possessed, He can make them go away; if you're blind...you get the point. But the real point is, as much as He was surrounded by very needy people, He didn't impose Himself. He didn't go to the crowds, the crowds came to him. He didn't search out the lame, blind and bleeding, they came to Him, begging for His help. On the one occasion that He came upon a lame person and was moved to compassion, still He asked before He cured. And that seems to be the one time when it almost backfired on Him. Why? Maybe the guy wasn't really ready to give up his illness. Maybe he wasn't ready for the responsibility that comes with the gift. He certainly had enough to whine about before-hand and passed the buck rather than giving the praise after the fact.

I think that was the problem for me; I offered, but they weren't ready to receive, and so were offended by the offering. Kind of like Jacob foretelling his brother's futures to them as revealed to him in the dream...before they were hungry enough to loose their pride. Jacob almost got killed and instead got sold into slavery as a result.

I also notice that the Bible talks a lot about the miracles that Jesus performed, but it doesn't talk too much about the ones He didn't perform. I wonder how many times He wanted to, but wasn't given permission. We read about the one time when He wasn't able to perform a single miracle in His hometown because of their lack of faith. These are the people He grew up with; people He knew and loved! Sam who lived next door and was subject to headaches. Ruth, who married Phil and they were needing some wisdom to get their marriage on track. Bill who lost his son to fever... Jesus knew them all. How His heart must have ached as he finally had to leave that town ungraced by His Grace, because though they knew Him, they didn't really 'know' Him at all.

Jesus understood humility. He still does. He waits at the door and knocks. There's times when, looking back at my life, I wish He had stormed the door, flung it wide and yelled, "What are you thinking!?!?" But in truth, I would have been angry at Him if He had. I had to live out those mistakes to the point where I was ready to come to Him and ask, so that I would understand the deep need I had, and accept the gift He offered.

I hope the time at the government has taught me deeper humility...to close my lips and withhold my favors till they come to ask...or not. Is it enough for me that He knows all about my gifts? I hope so.