I spent the last year working for a governmental agency. It served it's purpose, and now I have to say I'm so relieved to not be working for them any more. What an eye opening experience!
I think every segment of our lives has a lesson in it somewhere, and this one certainly had quite a few good ones for me; the biggest one of all was the lesson in humility. Now I hope I can live out the message in real life.
I'm 50 something, and like most active 50-something people who have stepped out to make a life and a living, I have quite a bit of skills, training, wisdom, talent and whatever else to offer to people who want or need them. However, here's something that I've learned: Most people need, but don't want. Even those with greatest need will grow very resentful if what we have to offer is thrust upon them.
I think, when all the dross is sifted off, I was let go for this reason. I think I angered a person by offering unsolicited skills to them, thinking I could help them...and this deeply offended this person who started a lot of backbiting and gossip sessions, which exagerated the problem way out of proportion.
Jesus, I note, always asked permission before bestowing his offerings. He had the ultimate set of assets to offer; miracles that included healing! Think of it; if you're lame, He can make you walk; if you're demon possessed, He can make them go away; if you're blind...you get the point. But the real point is, as much as He was surrounded by very needy people, He didn't impose Himself. He didn't go to the crowds, the crowds came to him. He didn't search out the lame, blind and bleeding, they came to Him, begging for His help. On the one occasion that He came upon a lame person and was moved to compassion, still He asked before He cured. And that seems to be the one time when it almost backfired on Him. Why? Maybe the guy wasn't really ready to give up his illness. Maybe he wasn't ready for the responsibility that comes with the gift. He certainly had enough to whine about before-hand and passed the buck rather than giving the praise after the fact.
I think that was the problem for me; I offered, but they weren't ready to receive, and so were offended by the offering. Kind of like Jacob foretelling his brother's futures to them as revealed to him in the dream...before they were hungry enough to loose their pride. Jacob almost got killed and instead got sold into slavery as a result.
I also notice that the Bible talks a lot about the miracles that Jesus performed, but it doesn't talk too much about the ones He didn't perform. I wonder how many times He wanted to, but wasn't given permission. We read about the one time when He wasn't able to perform a single miracle in His hometown because of their lack of faith. These are the people He grew up with; people He knew and loved! Sam who lived next door and was subject to headaches. Ruth, who married Phil and they were needing some wisdom to get their marriage on track. Bill who lost his son to fever... Jesus knew them all. How His heart must have ached as he finally had to leave that town ungraced by His Grace, because though they knew Him, they didn't really 'know' Him at all.
Jesus understood humility. He still does. He waits at the door and knocks. There's times when, looking back at my life, I wish He had stormed the door, flung it wide and yelled, "What are you thinking!?!?" But in truth, I would have been angry at Him if He had. I had to live out those mistakes to the point where I was ready to come to Him and ask, so that I would understand the deep need I had, and accept the gift He offered.
I hope the time at the government has taught me deeper humility...to close my lips and withhold my favors till they come to ask...or not. Is it enough for me that He knows all about my gifts? I hope so.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Truth From What Was Not Said
Did God really make creation in just six days?
Were they real days, or can we fudge by application of the scripture that says that a day to God is like a thousand?
How do we allign the scientific evidence of carbon dating, which says the earth is billions of years old with the Bible which says it's all only a few thousand years old? Who do we believe, science or The Bible?
How about the story of David and Goliath?
Or Noah?
Did the sea really part for the Israelites to cross on dry ground? How can that be?
What about the desert experience...did water really come out of a rock by just striking it with a stick? Did God really lead them with a pillar of fire? Manna?...every night for 40 years? Clothes that never wore out in 40 years???
Sounds a bit far fetched. Was it all true, or was there some "literary license" taken by the authors? After all, the stories didn't get written down for centuries. There had to be some errors, didn't there?
I have to confess that those and other questions like them have troubled me over the years. And if those questions are legitimate, doesn't that mean that we can loosen up on our interpretation of other parts of The Book that are not so easy to swallow?
But then I had an epiphany; There is something that Jesus did NOT do while here on earth, and that knowledge made all the difference for me.
Here's what Jesus did do:
Jesus was born, was crucified for my sins and died, and on the third day rose from the dead. Then He spent some period of days on earth as a resurrected being, showing Himself to over 500 people. And finally, He ascended into the sky...to heaven, in the full view of His disciples. All of this is established fact. Only those who have not studied their history argue the truth of these events.
Furthermore, Jesus was a Jew, and in His formative years, studied The Law and History of the world like all young Jewish males did. And He excelled in His studies. The scripture tells of Him astonishing the leaders at the temple with His knowledge at the young age of 12.
From this, I gather that He had read all those claims that caused me to question the accuracy of the writers; in fact, He knew them in the First Person, because according to John 1, He was there helping when it all happened. So not only did He know it from His reading and studies as a young boy, He also knew it because He had already lived it. Nobody else on earth can ever make the claim of being there, creating it, and then coming to earth as a human and studying about it as a boy. He knew the truth before He studied it, and so He is the only person who can ever establish the absolute veracity of the stories in the Bible.
Now here's something that Jesus did NOT do during His life on earth as a man; He didn't sit with the scholars and say, "Well, really...um, that event didn't happen exactly that way." He didn't make excuses, "Well, you know...there was a LOT of time between the event and when it got written down." Here was His perfect opportunity to correct any errors that had been written. When His disciples answered His question and said, "We believe you are the Son of God," He could have taken the opportunity right then to say, Well then, since you believe that, let's get some of the stories straight for the future generations." He didn't. In fact, He didn't even bring this subject up!
Jesus lived them, then He was born and He studied them; and He not only believed them, He lived them!
The conclusion one has to draw is that all Word is indeed God-Inspired. How else can you explain such accuracy, the that very person of Creator God accepted every written word as His truth to live His life by on earth? Therefore, every Word is Truth, because every written word of scripture is indeed God-inspired!
And that thing about 'scientific evidence.'..since when has God Almighty ever had to answer to man's facts or opinions?
Were they real days, or can we fudge by application of the scripture that says that a day to God is like a thousand?
How do we allign the scientific evidence of carbon dating, which says the earth is billions of years old with the Bible which says it's all only a few thousand years old? Who do we believe, science or The Bible?
How about the story of David and Goliath?
Or Noah?
Did the sea really part for the Israelites to cross on dry ground? How can that be?
What about the desert experience...did water really come out of a rock by just striking it with a stick? Did God really lead them with a pillar of fire? Manna?...every night for 40 years? Clothes that never wore out in 40 years???
Sounds a bit far fetched. Was it all true, or was there some "literary license" taken by the authors? After all, the stories didn't get written down for centuries. There had to be some errors, didn't there?
I have to confess that those and other questions like them have troubled me over the years. And if those questions are legitimate, doesn't that mean that we can loosen up on our interpretation of other parts of The Book that are not so easy to swallow?
But then I had an epiphany; There is something that Jesus did NOT do while here on earth, and that knowledge made all the difference for me.
Here's what Jesus did do:
Jesus was born, was crucified for my sins and died, and on the third day rose from the dead. Then He spent some period of days on earth as a resurrected being, showing Himself to over 500 people. And finally, He ascended into the sky...to heaven, in the full view of His disciples. All of this is established fact. Only those who have not studied their history argue the truth of these events.
Furthermore, Jesus was a Jew, and in His formative years, studied The Law and History of the world like all young Jewish males did. And He excelled in His studies. The scripture tells of Him astonishing the leaders at the temple with His knowledge at the young age of 12.
From this, I gather that He had read all those claims that caused me to question the accuracy of the writers; in fact, He knew them in the First Person, because according to John 1, He was there helping when it all happened. So not only did He know it from His reading and studies as a young boy, He also knew it because He had already lived it. Nobody else on earth can ever make the claim of being there, creating it, and then coming to earth as a human and studying about it as a boy. He knew the truth before He studied it, and so He is the only person who can ever establish the absolute veracity of the stories in the Bible.
Now here's something that Jesus did NOT do during His life on earth as a man; He didn't sit with the scholars and say, "Well, really...um, that event didn't happen exactly that way." He didn't make excuses, "Well, you know...there was a LOT of time between the event and when it got written down." Here was His perfect opportunity to correct any errors that had been written. When His disciples answered His question and said, "We believe you are the Son of God," He could have taken the opportunity right then to say, Well then, since you believe that, let's get some of the stories straight for the future generations." He didn't. In fact, He didn't even bring this subject up!
By His very silence on this subject, He proclaimed the absolute Truth of every word written in the Scriptures!
Jesus lived them, then He was born and He studied them; and He not only believed them, He lived them!
The conclusion one has to draw is that all Word is indeed God-Inspired. How else can you explain such accuracy, the that very person of Creator God accepted every written word as His truth to live His life by on earth? Therefore, every Word is Truth, because every written word of scripture is indeed God-inspired!
And that thing about 'scientific evidence.'..since when has God Almighty ever had to answer to man's facts or opinions?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
We Fall
Installment #3 ~ In the Beginning
"Do you think that Adam and Eve would have sinned if they had the advantage of 'future sight'?" I asked this of my friend as we stood vigil over her husband who was in the emergency room. As I've mentioned before, I've dealt a bit too much with death lately, and although this episode with my friend was not life threatening, still it was another medical emergency and too much of this kind of stuff gets your mind thinking about deeper things of God. So I mused the question to her, "If they could have known about the hate, the jealousy, the anger, the envy, starvation, disease, and all the other horrors that we deal with today; if they had know that they would be banished from the Garden, if they had known that one of their sons would murder the other, would Adam and Eve have committed the original sin?"
We thought about that for a moment. I wanted to say, "No! Of course not!" But...today we do have that advantage. We live amongst the consequences of sin. On a daily basis, we deal with pride, selfishness, greed, sexual immorality of all kinds, sickness, pollution, you name it; even death, and yet knowing that, having that hind-sight, don't we still run to sin every day? Unfortunately, the answer is painfully, "Yes. Even if they knew, they would still have done it."
"Do you think that Adam and Eve would have sinned if they had the advantage of 'future sight'?" I asked this of my friend as we stood vigil over her husband who was in the emergency room. As I've mentioned before, I've dealt a bit too much with death lately, and although this episode with my friend was not life threatening, still it was another medical emergency and too much of this kind of stuff gets your mind thinking about deeper things of God. So I mused the question to her, "If they could have known about the hate, the jealousy, the anger, the envy, starvation, disease, and all the other horrors that we deal with today; if they had know that they would be banished from the Garden, if they had known that one of their sons would murder the other, would Adam and Eve have committed the original sin?"
We thought about that for a moment. I wanted to say, "No! Of course not!" But...today we do have that advantage. We live amongst the consequences of sin. On a daily basis, we deal with pride, selfishness, greed, sexual immorality of all kinds, sickness, pollution, you name it; even death, and yet knowing that, having that hind-sight, don't we still run to sin every day? Unfortunately, the answer is painfully, "Yes. Even if they knew, they would still have done it."
Thursday, July 10, 2008
So Where's the Love in Pain?
Installment #2 ~ In the Beginning
I once worked with a lady who's mother was dying an agonizingly slow and pain filled death by cancer. She would come to work with tears in her eyes over the suffering her mother was going through. Shadows behind her eyes and dark circles under them from the horrors she watched in her long bedside vigil.
One day, I attempted to step in beside her, so to speak, to let her know that someone was there praying for her and her mother. She said to me, "I don't think I believe in God anymore. How could a loving God allow my mother to suffer this way? My mother was a good person, she doesn't deserve this. If God truly cared, He would take this away from her."
Whew! Powerful words that hit me hard. And at that time, I had no answer for her...at least none that would have helped. Sometimes a person just needs to get the poison out of their mouth and they don't need theology. So I remained silent except to state that I would continue to pray for her and her mother, and that I cared.
But seeing this pain and suffering play out so close to me yet again, caused me to go to God seeking His answer, "Lord, why do You allow pain and suffering in good people? Do You really care about us?" It took several years for me to grow enough in Him to find the answer, but I have it now, and if you're interested, read on.
God; He had just created the most beautiful of all settings, a perfect garden for the ultimate of His creation; Man, the object of His eternal, omniscient Love...Adam and Eve, the shining glory of the Creator God, set into His perfect garden. Perfect love.
But wait. Something is missing. God Almighty has shown His perfect love to man; in fact, He's poured it out on His beloved without restraint. But what about their love for God...will it be returned? There is only one way to know, and that is to offer them a choice, to love...or not... through simple obedience. (1 John 5:2 & 3)
Love without options, with no choice except to love, is not love at all...it's a form of slavery. It's also delusional. But God loved us so much that He would accept nothing less than our love in return through our choice! So knowing the consequenses, still He offered the option.
He gave us the tree...
And He gave us the choice.
A perfect garden.
A tree to manifest our choice.
He took the ultimate risk.
Can you imagine the agony of knowing the outcome, but still offering it anyway?
The hope...the hope...how He must have hoped!
Will they love Me enough to trust me and simply obey?
The broken heart!
The agony of His rejected, broken heart.
And the agony of the consequences of our choice.
Pain
Death
Disease
Murder
Anger
Hatred
Selfishness
Pride
The list is huge...and it was us who opened the door and allowed it in to God's perfect setting. The horrors are caused by our sin, not by God's apathy. The horrors are the consequences of our choice...our choice to withhold our love from Him.
Were it not for God's ultimate love...the risk He took of loosing our love by giving us the choice to love Him back, or not, we would still be living in Paradise, with no suffering, pain or death, but also with no knowledge of good and evil, with no knowledge of real Love, with no choice to return His love in full measure...from our hearts.
So we must deal with the pain, and the death, and hate, and war, and sickness and all the other evil things that we loosed upon ourselves in our moment of rebellion, but we also get the choice to truly love Him back. Isn't that worth the price? He thinks it is!
Love returned.
That's the prize He waits for,
Hopes for,
Endures all things for.
Perfect love from God,
Returned to Him.
Love never fails.
I once worked with a lady who's mother was dying an agonizingly slow and pain filled death by cancer. She would come to work with tears in her eyes over the suffering her mother was going through. Shadows behind her eyes and dark circles under them from the horrors she watched in her long bedside vigil.
One day, I attempted to step in beside her, so to speak, to let her know that someone was there praying for her and her mother. She said to me, "I don't think I believe in God anymore. How could a loving God allow my mother to suffer this way? My mother was a good person, she doesn't deserve this. If God truly cared, He would take this away from her."
Whew! Powerful words that hit me hard. And at that time, I had no answer for her...at least none that would have helped. Sometimes a person just needs to get the poison out of their mouth and they don't need theology. So I remained silent except to state that I would continue to pray for her and her mother, and that I cared.
But seeing this pain and suffering play out so close to me yet again, caused me to go to God seeking His answer, "Lord, why do You allow pain and suffering in good people? Do You really care about us?" It took several years for me to grow enough in Him to find the answer, but I have it now, and if you're interested, read on.
God; He had just created the most beautiful of all settings, a perfect garden for the ultimate of His creation; Man, the object of His eternal, omniscient Love...Adam and Eve, the shining glory of the Creator God, set into His perfect garden. Perfect love.
But wait. Something is missing. God Almighty has shown His perfect love to man; in fact, He's poured it out on His beloved without restraint. But what about their love for God...will it be returned? There is only one way to know, and that is to offer them a choice, to love...or not... through simple obedience. (1 John 5:2 & 3)
Love without options, with no choice except to love, is not love at all...it's a form of slavery. It's also delusional. But God loved us so much that He would accept nothing less than our love in return through our choice! So knowing the consequenses, still He offered the option.
He gave us the tree...
And He gave us the choice.
A perfect garden.
A tree to manifest our choice.
He took the ultimate risk.
Can you imagine the agony of knowing the outcome, but still offering it anyway?
The hope...the hope...how He must have hoped!
Will they love Me enough to trust me and simply obey?
The broken heart!
The agony of His rejected, broken heart.
And the agony of the consequences of our choice.
Pain
Death
Disease
Murder
Anger
Hatred
Selfishness
Pride
The list is huge...and it was us who opened the door and allowed it in to God's perfect setting. The horrors are caused by our sin, not by God's apathy. The horrors are the consequences of our choice...our choice to withhold our love from Him.
Were it not for God's ultimate love...the risk He took of loosing our love by giving us the choice to love Him back, or not, we would still be living in Paradise, with no suffering, pain or death, but also with no knowledge of good and evil, with no knowledge of real Love, with no choice to return His love in full measure...from our hearts.
So we must deal with the pain, and the death, and hate, and war, and sickness and all the other evil things that we loosed upon ourselves in our moment of rebellion, but we also get the choice to truly love Him back. Isn't that worth the price? He thinks it is!
Love returned.
That's the prize He waits for,
Hopes for,
Endures all things for.
Perfect love from God,
Returned to Him.
Love never fails.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
The Perfect Garden
I've had a lot happen this past month...and I've had a lot of huge and constant blessings from God...and I've thought a lot about life, and death, and God...and His creation. This may take several entries to get through, but here goes ~ Installment #1 ~ In the Beginning...
I've been told by more than one suffering person, "If there were a God, He wouldn't allow suffering such as..." and they fill in the blank with the horrors being experienced by them or a loved one. And I have no doubt about the horrors! There are horrors going on around this globe called earth by the gazillions on a constant basis. Horrors that are too horrible to even contemplate. And these horrors affect good people. And they make good people sometimes do and say horrible things! And then there are horrors of a "smaller" nature, like love dying. Like my co-worker's mother dying suddenly and unexpectedly from a heart attack. Like the grief experienced by the lady who rides my bus every night and never fails to give me a sweet smile but who just miscarried her 9 week baby. Horrors like the pain of my dog dying last month from another horror called "cancer."
Death is horrible!
And we tend to lay it at God's door and blame Him.
Or deny Him.
Because of the pain.
"Where's the 'love' in pain," we ask?
Stuff like that used to make me wonder about this God who defines Himself as "Love." I don't wonder about it anymore. I prayed for insight on this subject, and if I may, here's the thought path that my loving heavenly Father led me down.
When God made the heavens and the earth, and the oceans and the sky, and everything in them, on them, above them and below them, He did it for only one purpose, that of nurturing us humans. He didn't make it for Himself, He made it for us.
Kind of like we do with our spaces. We go to great lengths to create beautiful backyards, or the perfect decor in our home. We agonize for weeks over what color to paint the walls of the living room, and will it go well with the furniture we've picked. And we don't do that so much for us, as we do it for "them." The "thems" that we will invite to share our lives. We wait anxiously for that moment when someone from our beloved group will enter our back yard and go, "Wow!" We hold our breath hoping for that gasp of delight as they enter the door of our home. We day-dream of the moments we will spend there with family or friends, sipping tea and chatting, eating Thanksgiving dinner, opening Christmas presents or blowing out birthday candles. We decorate for love.
God did to. He created a perfect universe, and then a perfect world, and then a most perfect garden, holding His breath in hopes of our gasp of delight. He wanted to make it perfect...and He did. He made it so perfect that there was no death or decay, no shed blood, no cellular degeneration. Do you know what that means? It means that nothing would ever die. The animals wouldn't die or get cancer, the people wouldn't hate and fight and kill, the animals wouldn't eat each other, the flowers wouldn't fade and die, the grass and leaves would endure forever because of, and through His infinite love. There was no death! Think about that for a moment. No death!
And then think about this absolute perfection. At each stage of His creation, He stepped back and surveyed His handiwork, and He pronounced it "Good!" Mind you, He wasn't gaging His success by our standards, but by His, which are infinitely more exacting than ours. Six times He stood back, surveyed what His hands had wrought and said, "It is good!" In fact, let's call it perfect.
And He made it just to share with us; so He could come walk with us in the cool of the evening and look at the fun things we had done with His garden. "Look, Father...I decided to move the honeysuckle vine over here where that spot of sunshine comes in while You are here, so it perfumes the area where we sit. Do you like it?"
Perfection.
Just for us.
Love.
I've been told by more than one suffering person, "If there were a God, He wouldn't allow suffering such as..." and they fill in the blank with the horrors being experienced by them or a loved one. And I have no doubt about the horrors! There are horrors going on around this globe called earth by the gazillions on a constant basis. Horrors that are too horrible to even contemplate. And these horrors affect good people. And they make good people sometimes do and say horrible things! And then there are horrors of a "smaller" nature, like love dying. Like my co-worker's mother dying suddenly and unexpectedly from a heart attack. Like the grief experienced by the lady who rides my bus every night and never fails to give me a sweet smile but who just miscarried her 9 week baby. Horrors like the pain of my dog dying last month from another horror called "cancer."
Death is horrible!
And we tend to lay it at God's door and blame Him.
Or deny Him.
Because of the pain.
"Where's the 'love' in pain," we ask?
Stuff like that used to make me wonder about this God who defines Himself as "Love." I don't wonder about it anymore. I prayed for insight on this subject, and if I may, here's the thought path that my loving heavenly Father led me down.
When God made the heavens and the earth, and the oceans and the sky, and everything in them, on them, above them and below them, He did it for only one purpose, that of nurturing us humans. He didn't make it for Himself, He made it for us.
Kind of like we do with our spaces. We go to great lengths to create beautiful backyards, or the perfect decor in our home. We agonize for weeks over what color to paint the walls of the living room, and will it go well with the furniture we've picked. And we don't do that so much for us, as we do it for "them." The "thems" that we will invite to share our lives. We wait anxiously for that moment when someone from our beloved group will enter our back yard and go, "Wow!" We hold our breath hoping for that gasp of delight as they enter the door of our home. We day-dream of the moments we will spend there with family or friends, sipping tea and chatting, eating Thanksgiving dinner, opening Christmas presents or blowing out birthday candles. We decorate for love.
God did to. He created a perfect universe, and then a perfect world, and then a most perfect garden, holding His breath in hopes of our gasp of delight. He wanted to make it perfect...and He did. He made it so perfect that there was no death or decay, no shed blood, no cellular degeneration. Do you know what that means? It means that nothing would ever die. The animals wouldn't die or get cancer, the people wouldn't hate and fight and kill, the animals wouldn't eat each other, the flowers wouldn't fade and die, the grass and leaves would endure forever because of, and through His infinite love. There was no death! Think about that for a moment. No death!
And then think about this absolute perfection. At each stage of His creation, He stepped back and surveyed His handiwork, and He pronounced it "Good!" Mind you, He wasn't gaging His success by our standards, but by His, which are infinitely more exacting than ours. Six times He stood back, surveyed what His hands had wrought and said, "It is good!" In fact, let's call it perfect.
And He made it just to share with us; so He could come walk with us in the cool of the evening and look at the fun things we had done with His garden. "Look, Father...I decided to move the honeysuckle vine over here where that spot of sunshine comes in while You are here, so it perfumes the area where we sit. Do you like it?"
Perfection.
Just for us.
Love.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
A Candle in the Darkness
"A candle in the darkness." There is much to that phrase. We are called, as children of The Most High God, to be a light in the darkness. This can only be accomplished when we share the Love that He gives to us (and that's a whole other writing!)
I don't do love well. I think about Jesus. How He was often surrounded by crowds. Crowds of people around me tend to bring out the uptight in me. I can't stand the noise. Jesus doesn't seem to have that problem. In the middle of a crowd, He told the children to come to him. In the middle of a dense crowd that was already pushing in from every side, He felt the touch of a desperate woman, and welcomed her. In a crowded house, He was all about welcoming more people, even if they tore the roof off to get to Him!
I would have freaked out in far less pressing circumstances. Hearing the commotion on the roof, I know I would have come unglued! "What do you think you are doing up there?! Here, stop that! Now look at what you've gone and done; made a huge hole in the roof and what are we supposed to do about that? And now I have dirt down my collar and junk in my cup of tea!" As much as I think I'm learning to love, when the dirt starts falling, it's really all about me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I don't do love as well as I should, especially as an ambassador of Jesus. And I've been talking to Him about that. About being a better lover of people.
He's been opening my eyes and mind to a few things. One thing was found in a rather interesting book written by Donald Miller called Blue Like Jazz which I recommend, if you like free-style writing that leads to ripping the pretty lid off of our shallow lives to expose some strong truths. I liked the book.
Anyway, there's a chapter toward the end of this book where Don explores how humans perceive love. We tend to describe a friend as "being an asset" and we look at love given as "an investment of ourselves." We use financial terms to define love. How crazy is that? That reduces such a sacred opportunity down to bartering chips; I give love to you, what are you going to give me back?
I realize that a person can go across the sick line to lay themselves down to be tread upon and taken advantage of by self-focused people, and we certainly shouldn't go there, but unconditional love shouldn't be described with financial terms.
OK. I got that, but I still have trouble with needy people coming to me in need. I still have a long way to go, so I continued to talk to God about this.
Then, the other day, I was on my bike with my dog jogging at my side. Suddenly, the leash jerks out of my hand! I brake to see what's gotten into her. I look back to see my version of Man's Best Friend, all squatted down taking the world's most king-sized dog dump...right in the middle of the street! In embarrassment, I look around, hoping that no neighbors are seeing this spectacle (she's still dumping! It's taking her forever! The pile is growing fascinatingly large.) My hopes for anonymity are in vain. There's a neighbor in the house above me, watching out the patio door.
The door slides open, a beer bottle emerges on the end of an arm, and a beer-sloshed voice bellows out across the neighborhood, "WELL, ARE YA GONNA PICK THE CRAP UP, OR RIDE OFF AND LEAVE IT?!" My dog is still hunkered down, straining hard...the pile is humongous and ... I have not brought a bag for it! And the neighbor has opened another window to heckle me some more. I have to ride home for a bag, then come back....
Needless to say, I was not feeling the love! The neighbor could have gotten a lightning bolt from heaven and I would have cheered and done some jeering of my own! My dog was not feeling the love as I lectured her on the ride back to the house.
I decided to pray. And His answer came quickly, "Be a light in the darkness."
"Ooops...I think I forgot about that part in the embarrassment of the moment. Well, yes Lord, I should be a light in the darkness. I guess I should be that light even when my dog takes a crap in the middle of the street in front of the drunks house."
I love it when God gets the last word, and this day was no exception as He gave a final word to me, "Be a light in the darkness especially when your dog takes a crap in the middle of the street in front of your drunk neighbors house!"
So here's where I am:
I'm being taught a deeper love than where I'm at.
But I still don't like it when my dog dumps in the middle of the street...
in front of the drunk neighbors house...
who opens the door to blot out the sunshine with his sloshing bellow...
and I don't have a bag so I have to ride away...
and now my reputation is trashed even further, if that's possible...
and I'm worrying about having to come back and endure more drunken heckling.
I sure don't like those crappy times that life sometimes hands me.
But, I'm learning to love right there.
And that's good.
I don't do love well. I think about Jesus. How He was often surrounded by crowds. Crowds of people around me tend to bring out the uptight in me. I can't stand the noise. Jesus doesn't seem to have that problem. In the middle of a crowd, He told the children to come to him. In the middle of a dense crowd that was already pushing in from every side, He felt the touch of a desperate woman, and welcomed her. In a crowded house, He was all about welcoming more people, even if they tore the roof off to get to Him!
I would have freaked out in far less pressing circumstances. Hearing the commotion on the roof, I know I would have come unglued! "What do you think you are doing up there?! Here, stop that! Now look at what you've gone and done; made a huge hole in the roof and what are we supposed to do about that? And now I have dirt down my collar and junk in my cup of tea!" As much as I think I'm learning to love, when the dirt starts falling, it's really all about me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I don't do love as well as I should, especially as an ambassador of Jesus. And I've been talking to Him about that. About being a better lover of people.
He's been opening my eyes and mind to a few things. One thing was found in a rather interesting book written by Donald Miller called Blue Like Jazz which I recommend, if you like free-style writing that leads to ripping the pretty lid off of our shallow lives to expose some strong truths. I liked the book.
Anyway, there's a chapter toward the end of this book where Don explores how humans perceive love. We tend to describe a friend as "being an asset" and we look at love given as "an investment of ourselves." We use financial terms to define love. How crazy is that? That reduces such a sacred opportunity down to bartering chips; I give love to you, what are you going to give me back?
I realize that a person can go across the sick line to lay themselves down to be tread upon and taken advantage of by self-focused people, and we certainly shouldn't go there, but unconditional love shouldn't be described with financial terms.
OK. I got that, but I still have trouble with needy people coming to me in need. I still have a long way to go, so I continued to talk to God about this.
Then, the other day, I was on my bike with my dog jogging at my side. Suddenly, the leash jerks out of my hand! I brake to see what's gotten into her. I look back to see my version of Man's Best Friend, all squatted down taking the world's most king-sized dog dump...right in the middle of the street! In embarrassment, I look around, hoping that no neighbors are seeing this spectacle (she's still dumping! It's taking her forever! The pile is growing fascinatingly large.) My hopes for anonymity are in vain. There's a neighbor in the house above me, watching out the patio door.
The door slides open, a beer bottle emerges on the end of an arm, and a beer-sloshed voice bellows out across the neighborhood, "WELL, ARE YA GONNA PICK THE CRAP UP, OR RIDE OFF AND LEAVE IT?!" My dog is still hunkered down, straining hard...the pile is humongous and ... I have not brought a bag for it! And the neighbor has opened another window to heckle me some more. I have to ride home for a bag, then come back....
Needless to say, I was not feeling the love! The neighbor could have gotten a lightning bolt from heaven and I would have cheered and done some jeering of my own! My dog was not feeling the love as I lectured her on the ride back to the house.
I decided to pray. And His answer came quickly, "Be a light in the darkness."
"Ooops...I think I forgot about that part in the embarrassment of the moment. Well, yes Lord, I should be a light in the darkness. I guess I should be that light even when my dog takes a crap in the middle of the street in front of the drunks house."
I love it when God gets the last word, and this day was no exception as He gave a final word to me, "Be a light in the darkness especially when your dog takes a crap in the middle of the street in front of your drunk neighbors house!"
So here's where I am:
I'm being taught a deeper love than where I'm at.
But I still don't like it when my dog dumps in the middle of the street...
in front of the drunk neighbors house...
who opens the door to blot out the sunshine with his sloshing bellow...
and I don't have a bag so I have to ride away...
and now my reputation is trashed even further, if that's possible...
and I'm worrying about having to come back and endure more drunken heckling.
I sure don't like those crappy times that life sometimes hands me.
But, I'm learning to love right there.
And that's good.
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