A Candle in the Darkness

"A candle in the darkness." There is much to that phrase. We are called, as children of The Most High God, to be a light in the darkness. This can only be accomplished when we share the Love that He gives to us (and that's a whole other writing!)

I don't do love well. I think about Jesus. How He was often surrounded by crowds. Crowds of people around me tend to bring out the uptight in me. I can't stand the noise. Jesus doesn't seem to have that problem. In the middle of a crowd, He told the children to come to him. In the middle of a dense crowd that was already pushing in from every side, He felt the touch of a desperate woman, and welcomed her. In a crowded house, He was all about welcoming more people, even if they tore the roof off to get to Him!

I would have freaked out in far less pressing circumstances. Hearing the commotion on the roof, I know I would have come unglued! "What do you think you are doing up there?! Here, stop that! Now look at what you've gone and done; made a huge hole in the roof and what are we supposed to do about that? And now I have dirt down my collar and junk in my cup of tea!" As much as I think I'm learning to love, when the dirt starts falling, it's really all about me.

So I've come to the conclusion that I don't do love as well as I should, especially as an ambassador of Jesus. And I've been talking to Him about that. About being a better lover of people.

He's been opening my eyes and mind to a few things. One thing was found in a rather interesting book written by Donald Miller called Blue Like Jazz which I recommend, if you like free-style writing that leads to ripping the pretty lid off of our shallow lives to expose some strong truths. I liked the book.

Anyway, there's a chapter toward the end of this book where Don explores how humans perceive love. We tend to describe a friend as "being an asset" and we look at love given as "an investment of ourselves." We use financial terms to define love. How crazy is that? That reduces such a sacred opportunity down to bartering chips; I give love to you, what are you going to give me back?

I realize that a person can go across the sick line to lay themselves down to be tread upon and taken advantage of by self-focused people, and we certainly shouldn't go there, but unconditional love shouldn't be described with financial terms.

OK. I got that, but I still have trouble with needy people coming to me in need. I still have a long way to go, so I continued to talk to God about this.

Then, the other day, I was on my bike with my dog jogging at my side. Suddenly, the leash jerks out of my hand! I brake to see what's gotten into her. I look back to see my version of Man's Best Friend, all squatted down taking the world's most king-sized dog dump...right in the middle of the street! In embarrassment, I look around, hoping that no neighbors are seeing this spectacle (she's still dumping! It's taking her forever! The pile is growing fascinatingly large.) My hopes for anonymity are in vain. There's a neighbor in the house above me, watching out the patio door.

The door slides open, a beer bottle emerges on the end of an arm, and a beer-sloshed voice bellows out across the neighborhood, "WELL, ARE YA GONNA PICK THE CRAP UP, OR RIDE OFF AND LEAVE IT?!" My dog is still hunkered down, straining hard...the pile is humongous and ... I have not brought a bag for it! And the neighbor has opened another window to heckle me some more. I have to ride home for a bag, then come back....

Needless to say, I was not feeling the love! The neighbor could have gotten a lightning bolt from heaven and I would have cheered and done some jeering of my own! My dog was not feeling the love as I lectured her on the ride back to the house.

I decided to pray. And His answer came quickly, "Be a light in the darkness."
"Ooops...I think I forgot about that part in the embarrassment of the moment. Well, yes Lord, I should be a light in the darkness. I guess I should be that light even when my dog takes a crap in the middle of the street in front of the drunks house."
I love it when God gets the last word, and this day was no exception as He gave a final word to me, "Be a light in the darkness especially when your dog takes a crap in the middle of the street in front of your drunk neighbors house!"

So here's where I am:
I'm being taught a deeper love than where I'm at.
But I still don't like it when my dog dumps in the middle of the street...
in front of the drunk neighbors house...
who opens the door to blot out the sunshine with his sloshing bellow...
and I don't have a bag so I have to ride away...
and now my reputation is trashed even further, if that's possible...
and I'm worrying about having to come back and endure more drunken heckling.
I sure don't like those crappy times that life sometimes hands me.
But, I'm learning to love right there.
And that's good.